What do I want?

Friendship. I want best friends. I want friends who can understand me. Who can accept me for who I am. Who are true. Who doesn't think I'm annoying in the way they want to avoid me. I want, a group of best friends. A group. A group who gets along with each other. Who fights but mends right after. Who will be together through thick and thin. That's the kind of friendship I want.

I felt a tiny tinge of that friendship during a camp. I didn't ever want to leave the camp. But that camp was only 3 days. After that, we never communicated. "They were just being nice." was all anyone kept telling me. I never even got a picture of us. The camp was during the holidays. After the camp, I had to return to a place where I was lonely. All over again. 

I miss the moments, memories, friendships that I had last year. But now, I'm separated from them. I'm alone. Everyone here has where they belong. Except me. I'm like a mudskipper. Jumping here and there. From one place to another. No place where I belong. People say "the right people just hasn't come yet." I know I should be patient, but I'm so lonely, I'm stressed. I'm getting bad results on all my tests, I can't think straight. People say we don't need friends but I do. And I don't know why. I'm suffering. Not physically, of course. 

I try to fit in. But because I try, people find me annoying, irritating and clingy. 

I've been playing this game for the past year, I feel like a total loner now, haha. Because when I play that game, I actually feel like I have a life. But it's fake, obviously. That's how lonely I am. 

I've been playing Persona 4 and have just finished it. I was really sad when it ended. I felt like my awesome life just ended (see how much of a loner I am?). In the game, a group of really close friends investigate a murder case, save the world while having fun. The game is my life in a nutshell haha. And it's not real. -_____- do you guys see how much of a loner I aaamm?

From left to right: Top Row: Yosuke Hanamura, Yu Narukami (MC), Kanji Tatsumi.

                      Bottom Row: Teddie, Naoto Shirogane, Chie Satonaka, Rise Kujikawa, Yukiko             

                                                 Amagi.